HOPE IN THE MIDST OF TROUBLE

It’s almost Thanksgiving! The holidays are underway. Is it just us or do all families go around the table on Thanksgiving day and say what we are grateful for? “Our family, our house, friends” - My family’s voices echo through the room. Each shout is a thread in our shared narrative that binds us together in the bustling moment of Thanksgiving. BUT THERE IS MORE. Why are we just thankful on a certain holiday? How can we posture our hearts toward appreciativeness every day? These questions have been swirling in my mind. And to add another to the mix: when you’re feeling hopeless, overwhelmed or struggling to find reasons for gratitude, how can you still cultivate a sense of thankfulness?

We’ve all found ourselves in one season or another in some sort of trouble, trial, season of sadness or suffering. Being overwhelmed or stressed is part of human existence. It seems like each day has another headline or news article to add to our daily stress. This stress can cause us to disassociate and numb out. Before we know it, we’re back to the next holiday season sitting around the table shouting out the things we’re thankful for again. The human experience includes connection, creativity, culture, and learning, but I’d like to add trauma, mental health issues, physical health issues, and grief - just to name a few. We all experience it to some extent, but there is still hope to be found in the midst of our trouble.. 

MINDSET

It truly comes down to mindset! As a breast cancer survivor, I have had to endure hard news and even more difficult times during treatments and ultimately surgeries. I had to keep reminding myself that there is more to life than how I felt in that exact moment. Our circumstances can become all-consuming. Our thoughts often shape our reality and can sometimes make it seem worse than it actually is.

I’m not saying you can’t acknowledge that a particular season is challenging. Cancer SUCKS; treatments are awful, and they can feel overwhelming, but “choose” to stay strong. From the moment my feet hit the floor, I start my day with gratitude for another day and vowed just to focus on “today” and finding the joy and blessings of each and every day, such as a beautiful sunrise or sunset or an unexpected call from a friend. These little God winks kept me going.

I promised myself I would put on “real clothes,” as I call them, and apply my makeup. Even if I took an afternoon nap, I would do it with mascara and lipstick on. Everyone battles their own mind games in seasons of hopelessness, but having a positive mindset helped me stay the course. Even when I felt like I was on the verge of spiraling, I was reminded that I could ask the Lord for a sound mind. I clung to this verse in the midst of my trial:

2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

There is life on the other side of every bad situation, and for this, I am thankful. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, just as your challenges won’t last forever. For this, you have a reason to be thankful, too!

SURRENDER

Now surrender is a challenge for me. I like to have a plan, be prepared and ultimately be in control. I think most women do. I am, after all, a Type A personality. Maybe it’s innate inside us to keep all the plates spinning at once. Women do so much for their families, households and careers. The mental and physical load that we carry - I think we are all super women! This is why when we are faced with a season of depression, grief, illness or overwhelm, it slows us down, as it should. We are often stopped in our tracks. It feels like the world around us is crumbling. Maybe this is how it should have been all along. I think physically our bodies indicate what’s going on internally. When we find ourselves in one of these hopeless times, our body is pleading with us. Our body needs to rest.  Our minds need to rest. We need time to feel. AND THIS IS WHY WE NEED TO SURRENDER. When we can’t hold it all together ourselves, we’re reminded that we aren’t meant to. God wants to carry our load, and our friends and family want to help carry the load. We aren’t in it alone! And for this, I have a reason to be thankful and you do too!

SERVING OTHERS

Sometimes we have to physically remove ourselves from our own situations. The more we dwell on what we can’t change, the worse our situations feel. I have found that wallowing in my own stress and hopelessness just leads to more self-pity and depression. This is why I recommend serving others. 

I have found that when we serve others in need we are taking the focus off of ourselves, which allows us to be present in the moment. We’re getting out of the spiral in our minds and into our physical bodies. This is an act of medication and it’s a gift to ourselves, as well as to others. This perspective shift from internal to external changes everything. When we see others in need, we realize everyone has challenging situations. This shared experience fosters a sense of connection to community. I always say, “Everyone has a story”. 

A few ways to serve your community is by bringing a meal to someone who is sick, offering to help with household chores if a friend has had surgery, and helping an elderly family member decorate for the holidays. Helping others gives us a purpose and for that, I am thankful and you should be too!

This Thanksgiving season is a time to reflect on all the gifts we’ve been given. Some gifts are easy to recognize and others require us to take a deeper look. If you’re in the midst of hopelessness this season, I hope this encourages you by reminding you that you are not alone. It’s never too late to start shifting your mindset, learning how to surrender and to serve your community!